That's right bitches, mama's cookin

Now, let's start out and just address, that there's a time and place for everything. Sometimes it's great to have a real weird blog post that maybe you want to share with people. Like your friends. To show off your literary works and daily living. Or maybe it's just nice to have a place to record daily events, you know, in case my iphone dies or something. Slash...this blog can be exciting. Will the topic be an over expenditure on makeup? New theory in quantum physics? Bitch sess about work, while not naming the company that I work for? Or perhaps just a repeat of another blog life that I belong to with some chingus? 

Let's also start off agreeing with ... while all of my closest friends are either residing in another state or living in other countries...or a handful of hours away...my social life is pretty small. And by pretty small I mean I go to the gym a lot. I'm going for physical fitness, and to try and improve my physical appearance, as well as help out my health. I'm trying to up the muscle that we know works, and decrease the fat, which we know is shit.

While my thriving social life is constantly getting in the way, I've decided to take some me time and really get down to some good old fashion cooking. Just kidding. I made some popsicles.

So tonight I made greek yogurt popsicles. Except I wanted them to be more portable and not be sexually harassed at work, so I put them in ...THESE

All ya need are 4 cups of greek yogurt, 2 and 2/3 scoops of MRM 100% natural whey protein in dutch chocolate (my fat kid is never leaving this body. Let's not joke around here), and 2 and 2/3c strawberries (or whatever you want to put in them). And, to quote Paula Dean, "All ya need is a spoon and a set o' lips!" Now, the original recipe calls for honey, so if you want to battle your allergies from within, local honey is definitely the way to go. Just...I get a lot of sweet taste from the stevia in the protein powder, and honey is carby (17g per tbsp). Now, there were 2 more containers but they weren't the same looking as these, so I didn't want to include them. I felt embarrassed.


Moving on. I'm sure you can tell exactly what I did.

After you do your bitchin kitchen magic...you get...THESE

<---- EL FIN (de semana)



But in reality...I just wanted...THESE

Were you wondering about the nutrition contents of one of these little cuppies? No, not the lime-ritas. The bowlsicles. Didn't think so. Bitch is gonna list them anyway

Total fat: 0.5 g's
Cholesterol: 7 mg
Sodium: 64 bangin' m-grams
Potassium: 121 mg
Total Carbs: 10 g-units
Dietary Fiber: 1 gram
Sugars: 8g sweet balls...but just eat it. It's so worth it
Protein: BANGING ON IN TO 20 GRAMS!!!!
Vit A: 1% lame
Vit C: 55%
Calcium: 20% good for them Asians, old people, and ballerinas
Iron: 1%

Now let's get down to brass tax. I have a real bitchin' carb headache. I worked out like a beast, and I ate like a ... mammal  that doesn't eat carbs. Cycle days suck, but they're real effective and I feel like a god damn CHAMPION ...did I mention this is a low carb day? The hardest part is craving sugar all the damn time. I'm assuming it's since my body has no carbs to run off of for  fuel (that's good, bc the next step is muscle...which I'm replacing with hella protein so shit don't get me down...and then it pulls from body fat. I think I could live a long time off of my body fat. I'm sure Voldemort found himself going into ketosis often. He has a chic physic.), but if I can control myself for one damn second, I can have a bangin' day...something that looks a little something like this:

Breakfast of Champs: 326 cals
coffee w/ hot chocolate, 1 egg + 2 whites scrambled w evoo, mushrooms, onions, peppers, 2 pieces turkey bacon FTW

Snack: 80 cals
turkey bacon

Lunch: 360 cals
Togo's Asian salad w/ half the dressing (Togo's is a local sandwich shop...SO GOOD!!!). Unfortunately  the nutrition I looked up is including these delicious wontons, which I did not get on my salad. So the carbs that I list at the end of the day will actually be less. You will be shocked if you actually read it.

Snack: 108 cals
1/2c almond milk with pumped up protein

Workout: estimated 100 cals since it was legs day and I did plyos and body  blast shit, as well as core. This is my least favorite work out and I dreaded it EVERY DAMN WEEK! But now I won't have to see it for a whole month! Woo!!!

Dinner: 400 cals
turkey patty, fish oil pills, 1/2c almond milk w/ protein, 1/2 c yogurt w/ strawberries

TOTALS
Cals: 1174 ... I'll live
Protein: 129 g
Carbs: THIRTY FUCKING NINE!!!!!

Now, one of my friends and I had a useful conversation earlier today. It was a good question that I still don't know the answer to. First, we started off discussing how I recently learned that a regular person should aim for like ... 100g or less of carbs a day. If you want to be real bangin' you should cycle your days so some you eat like 50g. It will suck and your head will hurt and you may snap at old people and co -workers  when they ask you to balance the vault...but sweet jesus you'll burn lots of body fat!

We also diverged into...on these low carb days, how do you get your fiber? That I am not sure of. I don't, but I also shit like a bear in the woods, and generally I can meet my fiber req's on my "high" carb days. So if anyone has a solution to this fiber predicament for life...

My next goal is to master sugar intake. My app says I'm allowed 26 grams. Hopefully that is true. Today I had 25 grams of sugar.